Duties of the Husband
Shortly after my parents married, my mother (a.k.a. "Mom") and paternal grandmother (a.k.a. "Grandmother") were cleaning the top floor of my grandmother's house when they came across an old trunk in the back of a long, narrow closet. Mom inquired after the trunk's contents, so Grandmother pulled it out of the closet. They sat down and went through the trunk, apparently unopened for many years, and they found two pieces of paper with short, hand-written essays titled The Duties of a Husband and The Duties of a Wife. Grandmother said that her grandmother had written them in 1883 as a wedding gift for her daughter, who I imagine was my grandmother's oldest aunt. Mom was so taken with them that she copied them herself. Nearly thirty years later, my mother copied the words onto a parchment-type paper, mounted them, and gave them to my wife and me as a wedding gift.
Here are the words written for the husband, along with comments from me about how I would have stacked up in 1883. (All comments made by me have been reviewed and approved by Mrs. Happy.)
Duties of the Husband
Now that you are married do not allow yourself a slovenly appearance. Dress neatly, bathe often and give attention to the trimming of your hair and beard, nature's badge of manliness.
Before I was married I didn't understand how to shop for clothes. I dress better now because my wife tells me what to buy and when to wear it. I shower daily for the most part and get a hair cut about every five to six weeks. I have no "badge of manliness", so I guess I'm failing there.
Take care your clothing or breath is not tainted with the fumes of tobacco or strong drink.
I once smoked a cigar, but I've never smoked a cigarette. I've tasted alcohol here and there (a glass of wine, a strawberry daquiri, etc.), but I've never been drunk and my breath has never smelled of alcohol for long. I even try to brush my teeth immediately after the occasional dose of Nyquil.
Your good manners captured your wife, continue them. Do not sneeze or expectorate at the table, or allow butter, soup, or other food to remain on your whiskers. Do not be a dictator at home, it is your wife's province.
I still do my best to treat my wife like a queen. I open doors for her, help her with her coat, and give her piggy-back rides when she's tired. I mind my manners at the table and wipe my mouth consistently. I probably belch too much, but at least I'm not a dictator at home.
Remember, your wife should be first to be cared for and given the most courteous attention. When traveling make sure the horse selected for her is reliable and gentle.
I hate to admit this as a native Texan, but horses scare me. I've ridden them quite a few times, but I've never enjoyed it. Mrs. Happy and I went horseback riding together once, and afterward she promised me she'd never ask me to do it again. The less said about that experience, the better.
Never reproach your wife for an error which was done with a good motive at the time.
I've been guilty of this, but I apologize once I understand the situation.
Always use the most gentle and loving words when addressing your wife in public.
Amen. I have at times said harsh things to my wife in front of people and had to apologize for it afterward. I've found that when I'm peeved at my wife in public, we're both better off if we discuss it later in private.
Never leave your home without a tender goodbye and loving words. They may be your last.
We make it a point never to part without a hug, a kiss, and an "I love you" or two.
More on Duties of the Wife tomorrow.
