Servanthood
I don't remember much about my wedding reception. My emotional high from the wedding and my anticipation of the honeymoon combined forces in an adrenal assault on my brain that had me wandering through the reception in a fairly incoherent haze. I know there was food. I know we had cake. I know that our DJ blew a fuse with his equipment and therefore had to play all the music on a portable boom box. People talked, people danced, my dad handed out cigars, and I'm pretty sure everyone had a good time. But I recall most of that thanks solely to our photographer. Without the pictures, I can't say for sure that I'd remember any of it.
I do remember one thing, though. Before I removed the ceremonial garter from my bride's leg, I asked for everyone's attention for a moment. I then explained what I was about to do:
A lot of people criticize the Christian faith as misogynistic. They point to Paul's letters to show how the Bible instructs wives to submit to their husbands. They say that such statements demean women and treat them as second-class citizens in a paternalistic culture. But they fail to recognize the context in which Paul called women to submit. Because he also instructed husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. When I think of how Jesus loved the church, it occurs to me that everything He ever did was for the church's benefit and for God's glory. He didn't boss people around. He didn't abuse anyone. He didn't act like He was better or higher than the church, His "bride." He said Himself that He didn't come to rule, but to serve. He dedicated His life to serving the church, building it up, and saving it. One of the last things Jesus did before going to the cross was washing His disciples' feet. He did that as an act of service. Since I hope to be the kind of husband God intended in His gift of marriage, I want to follow Jesus' example and be a servant to my wife.
That's not my speech verbatim—as I said, I was pretty incoherent, so my actual words were less organized—but it expresses what I meant to express. After I finished speaking I turned around to my wife, who was already seated on a bench. I knelt in front of her, removed her shoes, drew water from a basin I had prepared beforehand, and washed her feet in full view of every guest at the reception. I'm sure that some people thought it was weird, some thought it was sweet, and some didn't know what to think. To me, it was the sincerest act of love I had ever expressed, and an act that hopefully set the tone for my entire marriage.
