Hope for the hopeless
I once wrote:
Let me give some advice to people who like to give advice: Never say to a single person, "Don't worry. You'll get married some day." It's the most transparent, condescending, and unhelpful piece of falsely hopeful tripe ever uttered by a human being.
That's not to say that anyone should try to discourage a single person from hoping. Just don't offer false hope. Earlier today, I ran across an old letter of mine to my friend Matt (long story how I came to have a copy of it) that may offer some semblance of hope to single people longing for companionship. Let me disclaim here: I was in a desperate situation at this point in my life, and the letter contains ideas I do not usually express with language I do not usually employ. Here's an excerpt, edited only for relevance:
Matt, I am so lonely. If I only had a match, all my cares I'd soon forget. All I'd need would be a match if I had a cigarette. And if I had a cigarette, I could watch the smoke rings curl. But I'd really be all set if I only had a girl (from an old Al Jolson song). I just don't understand why I can't, why I've never been able to find a girl. I don't want to start feeling sorry for myself, but it seems that whenever I'm attracted to someone, something makes a romantic relationship impossible. Maybe she's got a strange religion, maybe she's got a boyfriend, maybe she's got a penis, but something always stands in the way. Is it me? Am I attracted to women only if I can't have them? Or is there some global conspiracy to keep the attractive, intelligent, single Christian women away from me? Or is it just my stupid luck? …All the girls at my church are engaged or attached. There's nothing left for me. My friends are all married. Why did I get left behind, alone?
…
I was sitting here at the computer one night playing solitaire and listening to Company [i.e., the CD soundtrack for a musical play by Stephen Sondheim–Curt]. One line kind of struck me as strange: "Poor baby, sitting there, staring at the walls and playing solitaire / Making conversations with the empty air, poor baby." I though about that a minute and said, "Boy, that would be a pitiful existence."
…
Please forgive me if I sound like a pathetic wretch. Really I'm all right.
Is that encouraging? I wrote that six months before I met the future Mrs. Happy. Things seemed hopeless, as is life were a dead end. God has a way of making amazing things happen, though. The evidence is in this blog's title. There's no such thing as a dead end in His kingdom.
