Saturday, May 15, 2004
Marriage links for the week
Irene has a lot of friends
getting married this year. It has prompted her to ponder her
own expectations
for a future husband, as well as her reasons
for wanting to be married and some challenges she
is only now beginning to
understand. Great posts, all of them.
Joe McKeever explains the importance of creating and maintaining family
traditions.
Marla, the Proverbial Wife, has some thoughts on the
proper care and feeding of husbands.
Wizard Needs Food Badly. Apparently that's a song I somehow missed
in my teens. Affektion calls it "a great '80s child song about husband
and wife relations, or boys and their toys." Maybe
he's right.
The secret to a happy, long lasting marriage? According to researchers
in England,
it is "a common agenda quietly negotiated in those first few tricky years
and then stuck to." Check out the bottom of the article for some other
interesting links.
There is a mathematical equation for determining a person's optimal
marrying age. I can't quite decipher what the equation is, but my best
guess is M = (Y+1)/e + X - Y, with M being the age at which a
person should take what they can get rather than gambling on the possibility
of a better spouse coming along, Y being the age at which you start looking
for a partner, X being the age at which you would give up and stop looking,
and e being 2.718. According to this, I will reach my optimum marrying age
next year, after seven years of marriage. I often repeat this to myself: "In
matters of human will, statistics are irrelevant." I can say the same about
mathematical equations.
Divorce is high among ex-NFL players. Love and trust are the two most important
ingredients in marriage. Men fall in love more quickly than
women. Mothers never get a pie in the face in movies. So
says one columnist.
Friday, May 14, 2004
His and Hers X
His and Hers is a question or discussion topic relating to marriage that I post every Tuesday or Wednesday. On Friday, my wife and I each write our thoughts on the topic. I invite other bloggers to do the same with their spouses as an exercise in celebrating marriage. This week's question is:
How has marriage affected the other relationships in your life?
Mrs. Happy's response
My first thought regarding this question is a little on the sad side, as I feel that I have neglected many of my other relationships due to the closeness of my marriage and the directions it has taken me through the last six years. However, upon greater reflection, I realize that Curt has modeled a deep sense of family devotion and loyalty that I am still learning to adopt and apply to my own family—and my friendships, too. Even though I've been a poor correspondent at times, I would hope that everyone I love knows that I love them and that I would do everything in my power to be the friend, sister, daughter, granddaughter, etc., that they need me to be.
Curt's response
My marriage has affected my relationships in one major way. It has made them better. Being married and loving my wife as deeply as I do has taught me how two people can relate on an intimate level. This knowledge now informs all of my relationships with family, friends, coworkers, acquaintances, and passersby. I understand myself better because my wife brings out aspects of my personality that I was unaware of before I met her. I understand relationships better because I'm more aware of what makes them work. In short, I'm a better friend and a better person because of my marriage, and that shows in my other relationships.
Thursday, May 13, 2004
Sadness and loss
My heart is breaking right now for my friend Rey. Read his post from Wednesday to see why. My spirit has been heavy since I read that, and I've been praying for him and his family at every opportunity. I'm going through a structured Bible study right now, and today's lesson coincidentally (or maybe not) focused on coping with grief, pain, and fear. Though the grief I feel on his behalf is nothing compared to his own feelings right now, I found comfort in this passage in Luke 22:39–42 (ESV):
And [Jesus] came out and went, as was his custom, to the Mount of Olives, and the disciples followed him. And when he came to the place, he said to them, "Pray that you may not enter into temptation." And he withdrew from them about a stone's throw, and knelt down and prayed, saying, "Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done." And there appeared to him an angel from heaven, strengthening him.
I'm sure I've read that before, but it has never really sunk in that God sent an angel to strengthen Jesus. My NASB notes that the verse about the angel doesn't appear in some ancient manuscripts, but I find it powerful nevertheless. If God comforted Jesus with such divine intervention, maybe He does that for some of His adopted children as well. That is my prayer for my friend and his wife tonight.
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
Busy
Mrs. Happy and I have been busy learning lines and rehearsing for a dramatic
presentation we're doing at our church on Friday, so I've had little time for
blogging. I always feel a little guilty when I claim my RLTB™ rights, but
I try to keep in mind that no one's life suffers in the absence of my contributions,
and the world continues to rotate and revolve just as it did before I ever
started this blog. And Real Life does indeed Trump Blogging. Some bloggers
apologize when they're unable to post anything of substance, but I generally
find such
posts a little self-important, so I'm not going to do anything like that. Unless
this post is like that.
Anyway, here's this week's His and Hers question:
How has marriage affected the other relationships in your life?
Don't forget to visit Spare Change for this week's Christian Carnival. If you don't have time to regularly read a variety of blogs, the Carnival gives you a chance to sample some of the best in Christian blogging, so check it out.
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
Thought I'd be Ecclesiastes
Mrs. Happy and I have never done one of these (completely
silly and inane, but also kind of fun) Internet quizzes together before.
We came out the same. Almost all of the description applies to me. I do crave
knowledge,
understanding,
and
wisdom
more than almost anything in life. My wife, on the other hand, is more intuitive
than logical, often feeling the right solution to a problem I've only begun
to
analyze.
She definitely
has a tender heart, and people flock to her asking for guidance. I think
the part that says "You don't speak much" doesn't really apply to her,
although she swears she doesn't talk much when I'm not around.
Monday, May 10, 2004
Reminiscence No. 4
It's time once again for my periodic foray into blogocentrism. A couple of
people have told me that they have made a point of reading every single post
I've ever written. It's gratifying to know that my words and experiences have
touched people so deeply that they would invest so much time and effort into
exploring as many of my thoughts as they possibly can. But, sadly, I don't
think it happens that often. In fact, tomorrow I could probably post something
from my archives and pass it off as new with no one the wiser. It pains me
to think that my posts—as a writer, my posts are the closest thing I have to
children—go unread and even unnoticed by most visitors. So about every six
weeks I look at things I wrote four or five months previously and call attention
to some of my favorites. I am sad to report that, comments prior to January
6, 2004, seem to have disappeared into cyberspace. I don't know why.
During this time, I also published the love stories shared by Rey (Jan.
22) and Larry (Jan.
29). If you'd like to share your love story, please send it to me in an e-mail.
I love to hear them.
If this is your first look into The Happy Husband's past, check out Reminiscences
No.
1, No.
2, and No.
3.
