Customs of endearment
I don't encounter a very wide variety of people in my daily life. Mrs. Happy is actually the only woman I speak to on a daily basis, and many days she's the only woman I speak to at all. She's certainly the only woman I see in a home setting with any regularity. When we're at home, we're very affectionate both deliberately and habitually. One of the affectionate habits I have is patting her rear end whenever I walk behind her. It's a sweet gesture that feels good to both of us. I don't do it in public, of course. That would be highly inappropriate. But I do it at home all the time without even thinking about it.
I say all this in defense of what I'm about to confess: Whenever we visit a house in which a woman lives, I have to make a conscious effort not to mindlessly pat the woman's rear end if I walk past her. It's true no matter who we visit, be it a friend, acquaintance, or relative. I'm never tempted to do that in public, of course, but in a home setting it's such a habit that it's difficult to stop. My hands just seem drawn to derrières.
Fortunately, I've always caught myself. One time, my hands actually started swinging toward my sister's bottom, but I was able to stop them mid-swing. I can't imagine the mortification if I forgot myself in certain other settings.
Mrs. Happy has a potentially embarrassing habit of her own. Apparently, she doesn't talk to many men on the phone except for me, and we phone each other a couple of times a day. She tells me that when she finishes a phone conversation with a man, she has to make a conscious effort not to say "I love you" the way she does with me. So far, she has always caught herself and avoided her own affectionate habit mortification. It wouldn't be quite as embarrassing as if I goosed a friend's wife, but it would definitely generate some discomfort.
There may be a lesson in here somewhere. Make affection a habit. But not too much of a habit. Don't take if for granted or let it lose its meaning. Do let it be comfortable, though. And don't pat any backsides that you're not married to.
