You know you're a blogger when...
Last night I had a dream (a dream—please understand that before reading any further) that I received the following letter from my high school girlfriend:
Dear Curt,
I realize we haven't even seen each other in 17 years and that we have had no relationship by any definition of the word for at least that long. I feel, however, that we need to formally dissolve our marriage. This may be a somewhat empty gesture, but I have filed legal papers for divorce. I want you to know that I expect nothing from you in terms of money, property, or personal contact. I just want this settled once and for all. I hope this will provide closure for both of us.
Sincerely,
Marcy
Let me repeat—this was a DREAM. I did not marry my high school girlfriend in real life. We broke up in 1989. But within the muddled context of the dream several thoughts ran through my head (pretty much in this order):
- Oh NO! I forgot we had that wedding!
- Oh NO! I forgot we never really divorced!
- Oh NO! I never told my wife I was married once before!
- Oh NO! I'm going to lose all credibility on my blog!
- Oh NO! Does this nullify the legality of my marriage now?
- Oh NO! I can't in good conscience continue to blog about marriage.
I continued to be upset for several minutes after I woke up. Even after I recognized the unreality of the dream, that I never actually received the letter, I still thought I needed to confess the prior marriage to Mrs. Happy. Oddly, the part that depressed me most was the idea of giving up blogging. The other things, while shocking at first, could be discussed, accepted, and put in the past. I love my wife and she loves me, and our relationship is solid enough to withstand any mistake I made in my teens. But how could I go on proclaiming the value of commitment in marriage, of one man and one woman dedicating themselves to each other for a lifetime?
I have no idea where that dream came from. But it made me understand the impact this blog has had on my life. I really do think of it as a ministry, a place that I have set aside to be an oasis for anyone—of any marital status—who loves the concept of marriage as God intended it. Though I hadn't realized it until now, it is certainly an oasis for me, and a huge encouragement when I see the links, traffic statistics (around 350 visitors a day), comments, and e-mails. People often dream about things that occupy their minds, but you know something is an integral part of your life when it's actually part of your thought process even when you sleep.
