A Valentine's memory
One February back in the mid '90s, I bought a Valentine's Day gift for a girl I was hoping to date. I don't remember what it was. I also bought a gift for my best friend at the time, a friend who happened to be female. I had been walking a fine line with her for a couple of years, always letting her know how much I valued her friendship while simultaneously making it clear that I had no romantic feelings for her. Around that time, I had discerned a subtle shift in her attitude toward me, and I feared that she might be developing an unhealthy feeling of attachment. I confided this in my sister and sought her advice. She advised me to give up on the girl I wanted to date and instead embrace my female friend. Bah, I said. That would never work.
My sister accompanied me when I went shopping for Valentine's gifts. We found a bookstore in an Austin mall, and I came across a charming children's book I thought would be perfect for my friend. It was called Guess How Much I Love You. It told the story of Big Nutbrown Hare and Little Nutbrown Hare:
Little Nutbrown Hare, who was going to bed, held on tight to Big Nutbrown Hare's very long ears. He wanted to be sure that Big Nutbrown Hare was listening. "Guess how much I love you," he said.
"Oh, I don't think I could guess that," said Big Nutbrown Hare.
"This much," said Little Nutbrown Hare, stretching out his arms as wide as they could go.
Big Nutbrown Hare had even longer arms. "But I love you this much," he said.
By the end of the story, both hares have proclaimed love of astronomical proportions in a game of affectionate one-upmanship. I showed the book to my sister and said I thought it might be a good gift for my friend. She laughed and put it back on the shelf. "What?" I said. "You don't like it?"
"You're joking, right?" she said.
"No. What's the joke?"
"You're trying to lay off the romantic stuff, and you're going to give her a book called Guess How Much I Love You?"
"The love in this book isn't romantic. It's affectionate and pure. I could just as easily give this book to you."
"She'll think you're in love with her."
"No, she won't. She'll understand."
"Whatever."
So I gave my friend the book. She liked it. It sits on our bookshelf even today.
