Thursday, March 31, 2005

Grief and loss  

In Texas, where I'm from, a funeral service is conducted for the family of someone who dies. Here in New York, most funerals are preceded by one or two wakes, especially when the deceased was Catholic. I guess New York Protestants hold their own version of a wake, though they call it a viewing. I attended a viewing today. I did not know the family very well, but they (a father, a mother, and five children—the oldest of which is 12) were members of our church until recently, when they moved to another part of the state. The father of the family was in his last day of training to become a fire fighter when he collapsed and never recovered.

Even though I barely knew them, I hoped that as a deacon in the church I might provide some comfort to the family. I went with our associate pastor and his wife (our pastor would arrive later to speak at the funeral). I'm not sure how much comfort we gave them, but I'm certain that we at least didn't upset them. The wife clung to us for some time both when we arrived and when we left—she was grieved almost beyond her ability to bear it. She told me: "I know he's with Jesus now and that I'll see him again some day, but I'm just going to miss him so much."

I can't imagine the pain. I don't want to. Every time I begin to put myself in her shoes I'm overwhelmed. I thank God for the time I've had with my wife. I hope I can still thank him if he ever decides to call her home before me.